Monday, 27 September 2010

Perfect Protest

I'm joining in with the amazing Brene Brown's protest against perfectionism:  check it out!  Perfectionism is something I battle against every day.  It creates sooooo many OUGHTS in this house, and as an ME sufferer, I just don't have the energy to keep trying to be perfect anymore.  Letting go of the behaviour that equates what clothes I wear, or what my house looks like with how much people will like and accept me, or how good a person I am, is extremely hard, but I am getting there.  After all, trying to be perfect is what wore me out in the first place, and I'm not going to get better till I realise that.  So Brene's work really hits the spot for me, and I can't wait to get my copy of her book.  In the meantime, here are some of my perfectionist OUGHTS:

  • People will only like me if I wear Boden dresses.
  • People will only like me if my hair looks perfect every day.
  • People will only like me if I wear makeup.
  • People will only like me if I wear the right brand of makeup.
  • People will only like me if I have the right brand of liquid soap by the sink.
  • People will only like me if I vacuum the house every day.
  • People will only like me if I scrub my oven inside and out once a week at least.
  • People will only like me if I am the perfect cook
  • People will only like me if I have a career and earn lots of money.
  • People will only like me if I am a stone lighter.
  • People will only like me if I buy all my furniture brand new instead of having hand-me-downs.
  • etc etc etc....
When I see my OUGHTS written down in the cold light of day, they seem ridiculous.  Worse than ridiculous, in fact.  But the majority of the time, they are what drive my thinking.  What are some of yours?


  1. My favourite quote at the moment is from a Roger Clyne song called 'Better Beautiful than Perfect':

    "I run a little insurrection / which moves in the direction / that beauty is beauty in spite of perfection."

    Maybe it should be a protest song!

    My big OUGHT at the moment is:
    - I will only have a job if I don't call in sick today.

    I've got a migraine and was up half the night, but I'm terrified of picking up the phone to say I can't see to drive in, in case someone is angry with me. And writing it down just now, I can't believe how lame I'm being! Time to make a call, methinks and thank you for posting this!

  2. I like imperfect people best - they're more real, original. You doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. I blog hopped over from the ordinary courage.

  3. I just joined in on Brene's Perfect Protest. (Just found her blog last night, so I wasn't able to snap a picture), but, I know exactly what you mean. Once I hit a 30-something, I began to feel this way.
    I have learned there is a sense of peace that comes with accepting little imperfections. :D
    Have a great weekend!!

  4. oh, I love your thought process on this.

  5. yes! trying to be perfet takes so much energy!