Monday, 20 August 2012

Monday Morning Meditation

Picture of Angela's work room by Nester
Its been a tough couple of months, but I am spending today getting my head together, catching up with myself and the house, grounding.  I was pottering about on the internet as I usually do first thing, while I take my homeopathic remedies and lie in bed, waiting for my body to stop hurting (sorry, a bit victimy there, but its true), and I found this wonderful article by one of my fave bloggers, Nester.  Not only are the photos of this wonderful home totally inspiring, and green-inducing lets be honest, the post contained a quote that I've seen often, but never seen bettered.  I love it, and it spoke to me today in a new way.  So here it is, repeated for your delectification and inspiration.  Thank you Nester and Angela:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
–Marianne Williamson

Monday, 6 August 2012

Turning Point

“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Anais Nin

I can't do this anymore.  I know I've said this a thousand times, but I can't. 
I need to get my life moving again. 
I am riven with anxiety and I need to let it go. 
I am tense as a board.  I need to move my body.
My guts and my skin are a mess. I need to eat in a way that is respectful and energising to my body.
I need to be writing again.  Gods, I need this sooo much.
I need to set boundaries.  In my mind and in my life.  Give myself space to be me. 
I need to learn to manage the commitments I do have to make in a healthier way.
Right now, I hurt all over.  I am angry and resentful.  I am so exhausted I can barely concentrate on the next word, never mind the next sentence.
A friend emailed me this morning.  She said 'I am drinking lots of veggie juices, taking superfood power, napping every afternoon, and I feel much better.'  And I thought: 'Can you send me your programme please, because thats just what I need too.'
I've been through a lot in the last month, emotionally and physically.  A real Dark Night of the Soul.  I need a break.  A big one.  Its time to give myself that gift.