“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
I can't do this anymore. I know I've said this a thousand times, but I can't.
I need to get my life moving again.
I am riven with anxiety and I need to let it go.
I am tense as a board. I need to move my body.
My guts and my skin are a mess. I need to eat in a way that is respectful and energising to my body.
I need to be writing again. Gods, I need this sooo much.
I need to set boundaries. In my mind and in my life. Give myself space to be me.
I need to learn to manage the commitments I do have to make in a healthier way.
Right now, I hurt all over. I am angry and resentful. I am so exhausted I can barely concentrate on the next word, never mind the next sentence.
A friend emailed me this morning. She said 'I am drinking lots of veggie juices, taking superfood power, napping every afternoon, and I feel much better.' And I thought: 'Can you send me your programme please, because thats just what I need too.'
I've been through a lot in the last month, emotionally and physically. A real Dark Night of the Soul. I need a break. A big one. Its time to give myself that gift.