Thursday, 22 March 2012

Good Day, Bad Day.

Yesterday started off really well. No, wonderfully, actually.  I found out that one of my stories posted on had received over 46,000 hits!  I mean, 46,000!  Thats half Wembly stadium!

I was like that ball thing that Will Smith lets loose by accident in 'Men In Black', the one that pings and bounces around the lab at a million miles an hour!  All day I kept catching myself saying '46,000 readers!'.

Lots of other good things happened too.  It was beautifully sunny.  The new digibox was delivered, and its great.  I was well enough to drive myself into Norwich to my counselling appointment, and even do a bit of shopping.  I was so happy.

Then I came home and checked my email.  There was a cruel one from someone close to me.  This person has hurt me badly.  I don't know why.  I tried not to let it spoil my day.  Pat took me out to the pub to celebrate.  I didn't feel much like celebrating, even though I felt like all my hard work has finally begun to pay off, and I can hold my head high among other writers at last.  I don't have to apologise for being myself anymore.  Except to this one person.  I know I shouldn't allow them to get to me.  Partly, it is because I don't know why they are behaving in this way because they won't tell me.  And partly, it is because I just want to be loved - don't we all?

And then I heard the Universe speak.

I was flipping through last weekend's Telegraph magazine and I found this quote from Armistead Maupin:

"My life is full of love; I designed it that way.  I try to make my own experience about love and I look for kindness and tenderness in others...That's the thing I value the most: it will get you through everything."

I can't stop this person behaving cruelly to me.  But I can choose the way I respond.  I can choose to believe the 46,000 readers, and not the one email correspondent.  I can design a life that is full of love.

You might also like to read this from Keri Smith.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't realise you were on fanfiction! Can I have a link please? I'd love to read your work!