Tuesday, 20 April 2010


Blossom in the University Parks, Oxford, April 2009.  The Japanese have it right - blossom is bliss!

I am pretty worn out by two busy days in succession, but looking forward to the next two days, during which I am home and hoping to fill the time with drawing, painting and writing.  I feel like I am in a good place right now.  It's not just that the sun is out and I've been in the garden a lot (the roses are looking goooood, since you ask).  It's not just that the birds are singing their lungs out every day and the new leaves are making a lush green haze on the trees.  It's not just watching the dozen or so ducklings haring about on the pond, or the anticipation of warmer days coming. Nor even the blossom coming out. 

I think it may just be that I am not trying too hard.  Every time I catch myself saying OUGHT, I change it to a WANT, swill it about in my mouth and see how it sounds.  Do I WANT to do this?  Is this what I WANT?  Somehow, WANTs give me my power back.  And they make me feel like doing things, instead of putting off and getting depressed about the OUGHTs I feel obliged to get on with.  They make life so much less like hard work.  Trying not to be perfect doesn't always work out, but doing what I WANT to do with what little energy I have actually means I am achieving much more.  And that makes me feel better about myself. 

So maybe this spring is a new departure, and a good one. I hope you are enjoying new departures too.

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